coffee.jug

anger.

Have you ever felt that you are so angry that u can eat someone alive, literally, pull up a trigger and bazoka the Eiffel Tower? GOD, I AM SOOOO ENRAGED! But the problem is that I cant be mad at anyone, because Im mad at myself. I am disappointing myself. 

You know when you could have done better but you did not. when you knew what you should have done, but you did not. You did not. thats the problem. YOU did not. Its not him, its not them, its you.

Eversince Ive lived by days, running on 13 projects all together, I have always been running. Life has always been a hamster’s cycle, running so fast at the same place. I did not know where I am heading, where I want to go, not even thinking about going out of the cage. 

I am lost

I do not know where to go

But I am always negating and denying all the offers that comes up to me (not that Im saying I have options, but choices, at the very least, before they end up turned me down). I am so disappointed of myself. I speak loudest to empower people, to empower women, that they do have a choice. I do have choices, in fact, I have too many, Im not so sure which to pick, where to go. 

Im not sure.

I dont know.

Im lost.

and its not good.

I know

its not good.

Im so mad at myself.

Im a hypocrite.